I’m a huge fanatic of The Sims game. Okay, that’s an understatement – I admit that at one point I believe I was a tad addicted to the game.
I would pop the disk in and vow to spend no more than 30 minutes playing this game, only to discover that when I looked up again, hours had passed.
It wasn’t uncommon for me to look up and find the clock reading 4 a.m. while still feeling as if I’d only begun playing the game.
The game was so intriguing because there were so many possibilities to experience things that weren’t exactly possible in real life. It was so easy to get caught up and waste hours that added up to days spent playing this game while making no real progress in my own life.
But I’ve learned that it wasn’t a total waste. I learned some things playing that game that I should’ve learned years ago, but for whatever reason hadn’t. It taught me a great deal about social media that I hadn’t thought of before.
It gave me a simplified version of how relationships are built. You’d think that since it’s a game, anything goes when it comes to socializing your Sims – but that wasn’t so, there was a pattern, that whenever it was violated, resulted in decreased friendship points.
For example, if you tried to skip the “getting to know each other phase” when it came to meeting new people and started picking more advanced social options, it would offend the other Sim, creating a negative interaction.
The same thing happens on Twitter and other social network sites. Have you ever had a new follower DM you with a request to visit their blog or retweet a post of theirs? Or even worse, send you to an affiliate link?
If you’d had an opportunity to build a relationship and earn each other’s trust, it wouldn’t have been such a huge offense.
But when you barely know the person who’s suddenly bombarding you with inquiries like this, it’s easy to get annoyed – that’s a negative interaction.
Depending on how many times this happens or how thin your patience is, you may end up unfollowing the person altogether.
Just as it is in this game, blogging relationships are also built step by step. The more nice things the Sim did for another Sim, the quicker a relationship was built. It’s no different when it comes to blogging or interacting on Twitter.
Try retweeting someone else’s posts, sharing their work on other networks, or even simply asking how they are doing, and pretty soon you’ll discover them returning the favor.
If a Sim gained lots of friends, they were increasingly more likely to get promotions, new jobs, or breaks in their rent as a result of the friends they knew.
The more followers and subscribers a blogger has the more likely they were to be presented with huge favors and amazing opportunities.
On the other hand, if a Sim finally did manage to build a decent relationship, yet failed to maintain the relationship by spending time or calling the other Sim, eventually the friendship would fizzle until the two were no longer friends.
That meant less friends; less opportunities.
It’s the same in the blogosphere – the more influential people you know, the more unexpected opportunities you’ll receive. The more people you help, the more likely you’ll be helped.
I know, it shouldn’t have been rocket science for me and I should have learned everything there is to know about social media and interacting with other bloggers kindergarten, but I didn’t. And from the huge amounts of spam I get, I suspect there are other late bloomers.
I’m in recovery now, and I haven’t played this game in over a year. But I’ve found it to be an extremely helpful guide when it comes to building beneficial blogging relationships.
What about you? Do you have a favorite game that you enjoy playing that has taught you more about blogging and social media than you initally expected? Please share!
Glad to know you had the time to play Sims, I read some reviews about this game but then I was still playing PacMan 🙂 We play for fun and feels that hardcore gamers are wasting time since they don’t learn anything playing these games but the fact is it helps us grow smarter to handle certain situations.
I like your relaxed approach, it’s difficult to develop at first, but really getting anxious does no good in the long run. People can sense when you’re coming on too strong and that desperate vibe that goes with it.
i only help other to retweet those related topic tweet. Because Company or Business account is not really good that just tweet whatever other people send it . I prefer to go with have a simple talk like wish a good morning to them then have further chat with them to build relationship.
Sometime playing game able to provide some tips and solution on your business as well because game sometime do need you to roll your brain to win the game. nice job and nice article.
I guess that game seemed to give a good deal in you life especially about networking social media sites. There are games where it brought a huge impact to our lives.
Thats a good story. Rarely people find any similarity between real world and virtual world 🙂
Wow! I never thought about that before, but it totally makes sense! I always had trouble maintaing Sims friendship because I would forget about them. Same goes for social media. If you ignore your followers, they’ll think you don’t care anymore.
On another note, you’ve just given me the urge to go play the Sims again, which I haven’t played in several months. How awesome would it be if they adding a blogging career to the game? Hmm….
OMG! That would be a great addition! Ya’ know they really should add a blog career, or at least a work from home/build your own business option. We should suggest it! lol 🙂
Hello Keisha,
I actually tried Sims but didn’t like it, but I did have an addiction to world of warcrfat and what I learned is that it’s almost always the best to try and gain the friendship of the most influential people around. Because WoW it’s mostly a team game, you actually depend on the leader of the group to get stronger and usually in such groups if the leader had certain people that he knew better those people would get the best items while the other wont.
So, I think that games can have a lot of applications in reality and if you look in the right places, especially with mmorpgs, where you actually interact with other people, you can learn a lot about people and how they “work”.
Now, I try to stay away from any games because I actually feel guilty when playing something, because I think I am wasting time when I could have done something productive.
While reading your article it reminded me of one of the saying my mom used to tell me, I call them “momisms.” She would say “You can catch more flies with honey then you can with vinegar.” You wrote “The more nice things the Sim did for another Sim, the quicker a relationship was built.” That sounds like a 21st century version of my mom 20th century momism who got it from my grandmother, who was born in th 1800s. The older I get the more I realize that mom and dad were so much smarter then I gave them credit for back in my teens and twenties. Thanks for the reminder.
Hi Keisha,
Tad addicted? I guess that’s an understatement 🙂 I’ve played SIMS (back in college) as well but I prefer games that involves blood and gore (pardon the term).
You know, what strikes me is that those people who genuinely help others regardless of which industry they are in are the ones who thrive in the long term.
This is even more evident in the blogging community, Darren Rowse has always been helpful with his posts and the only direction I see him going is up.
I am not familiar with Sims but the lessons you draw from it make complete sense. I have been blogging since 2008, always a bit under wraps. Recently though, I have found that the more I share, the more I Tweet and comment, the more traffic I have had. Who knew I had been missing out on all these wonderful blogosphere relationships for so long? I certainly didn’t.
Hi Reedu,
I didn’t realize that was the key when I first started either – it just kind of happened and then one day I got a bunch of traffic and I had to retrace my steps. Turns out some whose content I had been sharing decided to return the favor.
Great post thanks for the relationship tips after 23 years of marriage I need all the help I can get.
Sims is a comprehensively designed game that we can learn so much more from. There are inherent lessons within that help with entrepreneurship and life in general. Tough not deliberately, Sims does inherently convey several life lessons.
Hi Sunil,
You’re so right – I think that’s why it’s such an enjoyable game.
I love the Sims, too! I guess you are saying that to build blogging relationships you need to get to know them first before asking for any favors but I generally don’t have the time! Also with very niche blogs there is sometimes not too many other blogs that focus on the same topic.
Railroad Tycoon? Is it like the Sims?
Hi Lilith,
I totally understand the time factor – it is a challenge. And sometimes, I have to step back from social networking sites in order to accomplish the assignments that I have before me. Some people will fade away, but others will stick around.
Hey Kiesha,
I think that Ann and you are both missing the train – Railroad Tycoon is the best game.
Actually, there was a time that I loved the SIMS too, but that was some time ago.
Social media is, for me, fun. But, you are right. It is more of a sharing activity than it is a game. I think I will retweet this very post tonight. 🙂
Have a good day!
Thanks, Mark!
Now you’re going to make me fall of the wagon! As much as I love video games, I have to try hard not to let them distract me anymore. But Railroad Tycoon sounds tempting, I tell ya… 😀
Kiesha, I just really love your analogy here. Role playing games like this were always my favorite. From Leisure Suit Larry (I’m showing my age) to Theme Park (similar to Roller Coaster Tycoon but an old, Windows game) and I have played The Sims from time to time as well.
In The Sims’ case, I love that you have the freedom to do whatever you want and try new things, but without that relationship piece (as you stated), you’ll never go anywhere in the game. Similar to the online world.
Love the post, Kiesha!
I remember Theme Park as well. Wasn’t as intricate as Tycoon, but was good fun 🙂
Thanks, Lisa!
I’ve never heard of Leisure Suit Larry – sounds like fun! 😀 I’m really glad to have had the opportunity to share this post here. I wasn’t sure how many people would be able to relate to The Sims, but I was hoping it would at least create a light bulb moment for some when it comes to networking online.
I’m not a gamer, but if I were, I’d probably have a better idea of what brings in traffic. I’m a stuffy writer type which really just attracts other stuffy writer types. But your rules of reciprocation are just as true among the bloggers as you describe among the gamers. When I get a newbie who wants to learn, he’s all enthusiastic and sometimes excessively so. I just relax and let him learn. I just try to set a “be cool” example. Traffic will come with time and dedication. And good content.
Hi Fred,
I like your relaxed approach, it’s difficult to develop at first, but really getting anxious does no good in the long run. People can sense when you’re coming on too strong and that desperate vibe that goes with it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts 😀
Hey Kiesha: Yes we can learn a lot from these computer games. How about RollerCoaster Tycoon? Building a theme park with roller coasters can be fun but you need to build rides that the visitors really want or they won’t come back–sort of like offering good content in blog and social media posts. Second, make sure the visitors are comfortable and have the amenities they want–bathrooms and food, for example. When writing posts, offer short comfortable articles or tweets that are easy to digest 🙂 That analogy might be a stretch. Third, play nice. Just like you said, this is a “social” media and if you want friends you can’t take advantage and you need to get to now each other and then stay connected.
Thanks for the post Kiesha–it is always nice to hear from you and I enjoy reading your blog and tweets!
Yes! Roller coaster Tycoon is a great game as well. I was also semi-addicted to this game. My fav was building the water parks.
I had a tendency on making my rides a bit too scary for my park visitors, so they stayed away from those rides. However, the more moderate rides they loved.
Guess that would be comparable to making sure you’re authentic in your approach when participating in social media.
Sounds like you’ve got the point exactly!
Thanks, Ann!!
I haven’t played Roller Coaster Tycoon, but I have played Mall Tycoon and it’s similar in providing things people want to buy and adding to their comfort levels, so I can definitely see the comparison. 😀
Haha, this is great! Unfortunately, not every addicting game is so useful in developing relationships/networking. For example, my addiction is to the Call of Duty series. Needless to say, there are not many lessons in that game about blogging, haha!
I digress, though. Great post and excellent lesson. I have learned that some of the best lessons come from the oddest places/people/occurrences and this certainly fits the bill. Thanks Kiesha!
Hi Stephen,
You’re right to say that the best lessons come from the oddest places – that sums just about everything I know about blogging. I haven’t learned it all by sitting in front of the computer, but by paying attention to the lessons I’ve learned in life.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Lisa,
GREAT post! I too am a raving Sims fanatic! It’s true what you say about this game and the way relationships are built. There’s been many time when I’ve skipped the “getting to know” phase and jump right into advanced social options and been slapped silly! 🙂 However, I didn’t make the connection to how this game relates to the world of blogging and twitter.
I had to learn this lesson from an obscene amount of trial and error. Luckily I’ve got the memo now and know how to properly build relationships online today.
My favorite and EXTREMELY addictive game (even more additive then The Sims) is an online virtual game call “Second Life.” Oh the long nights I’ve spent playing this game is RIDICULOUS! 😉
It is a great teacher on how to build and maintain online relationships as well (even though in some areas on this game people don’t really care about the online etiquette.)
I’m in recovery now as well from this game. Its been well over a year since I’ve played it! Thank goodness!
Thanks for your post, great read!
Ti Roberts
I apologize. I didn’t realize until after I posted my comment that this was a guest post by Keshia. So I would like to thank you Keshia for writing this post, and thank Lisa for putting this on your blog 🙂
Hi Ti,
No worries! I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
I realize it’s a very loose comparison, but those social interactions between Sims did give me quite a few light bulb moments. Really the way you socialize online should be just as polite, if not more than they way you socialize offline.
I’m glad to know I’m not alone in those all-night game sessions. 😀
In a personal relationship a person would rarely ask for a favor before doing a favor first. But online, the rules seem to change for the worse.
Social media can be overwhelming because there are so many people and so much info out there.
But starting with baby steps is the way to go.
I try to comment on, retweet, stumble, or like every worthwhile post that I read. After all – I’ve already invested the time to read the article – spreading the word is the easy part.
Nice article!
Hi Neena,
Yes, I agree that online people tend to try to take advantage more often, but truthfully, it’s not effective. They can ask for favors if they want, but no one is going to respond favorably. It’s best to do what you’re doing, sharing and spreading the word of others first. Before you know it, they’ll be returning the favor.